Insomnia

I can’t sleep,

Thinking of your face.

It keeps me up nights,

When my body aches

And all I want is

Sleep,

Escape.

I can’t sleep,

Thinking of you.

How we used to be.

How we fought,

And I’d be angry.

And I’d grit my

Teeth and swallow

The words like a bitter

Pill you have to take

In the mornings

But really don’t

Want to.

How I refused to

Hold your hand

Or talk or look at

You.

I can’t sleep,

Thinking of that.

Of how you’d gently

Pull apart my fist

And hold my hand in

Your big fingers.

How you would hold

Me even when I didn’t

Want you to.

How our bodies fit

Together like mismatched

Puzzle pieces that

Really shouldn’t fit with

Anything at all,

But fit with each other

Somehow.

I can’t sleep,

Thinking of you.

How I hate myself

For missing us.

For wanting all

We had before,

All the madness

And anger and

Hurt.

But all the love

And happiness

And good-feeling

Stuff, too.

I miss that.

I miss you.

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